Seriously what is it that hipsters have against socks?
"mmmmm ginsters and foursquare"
I have a theory… perhaps over the period of years the socks were not removed they just dissolved slowly into the feet forming a crusty outer coating that looks just like the foot?
This would also explain the excessive rolling up of the trouser, the heat build-up of the foot/sock hybrid would be immense. Could the sockish/human chimera gain enough control over the will of its host to influence footwear choice? This would also explain the penchant for shite italian loafers amongst the infected hipster community.
You heard it here first, save yourself from being influenced by socky parasites and wash your goddamn socks!
I think it’s not only these “Sockish overlords” that are invading. Clearly there is another threat, aliens disguised as Frijj milkshakes! And that one is waiting for a bus! I think you might have stumbled across a public transport infiltration scheme!