Chim Chim Che-ree… everyone loves a bit of dick (van dyke – you filthy swine)

Clearly this fellow does, sporting his cock-ney fashion (yes this was summer – I am that far behind in posting). I don’t think Dick Van dyke would’ve been so insanely happy if he was a real chimney sweep though.

Tony was from a simple village, his dream to one day walk the hallowed turf of shoreditch and hoxton and mix with the fashionistas. Tony had always yearned for a place where he would be accepted and could say the word “vintage” without being slapped by his stereotypically angry and misunderstood father, mother (and passing strangers).

"So I said to him plaid? That's sooooo last week..."

Days rolled into weeks and weeks rolled into years until on his 18th birthday Tony announced that he was moving to persue his dream of being a brand awareness product strategist and the future of the family tie folding business be damned!

The next few days passed by in a haze of anticipation for Tony and at last when the joyous day arrived he climbed into the taxi to drive him to the airport and more symbolically, to freedom.

Unfortunately for Tony the taxi was crushed by a wayward boeing tyre that had fallen from a plane coming into land, killing him and his dreams instantly. So instead of Tony here’s a picture of a random dude with 2 bags.

Seriously what is it that hipsters have against socks?

"mmmmm ginsters and foursquare"

I have a theory… perhaps over the period of years the socks were not removed they just dissolved slowly into the feet forming a crusty outer coating that looks just like the foot?

This would also explain the excessive rolling up of the trouser, the heat build-up of the foot/sock hybrid would be immense. Could the sockish/human chimera gain enough control over the will of its host to influence footwear choice? This would also explain the penchant for shite italian loafers amongst the infected hipster community.

You heard it here first, save yourself from being influenced by socky parasites and wash your goddamn socks!

Hi there, take a look at this one;

Random-o-dress.

Here’s how to play;

Simply mark up a wheel of fortune style device with all your clothes and give it a spin, what it lands on, you wear! 

Native Indian wig. Dirty grey shirt. PInk shorts. Sunday shoes.

Win!!!

Hola again.

awesome soup strainer

Hi there,

Yes yes we’ve been gone a goodly while. I would like to able to say I was abducted by some fashion hating aliens and forced to write mildly amusing crits on alien hipsters all this time, but mainly it’s due to me being super busy and the abandonment of my lfv photo gathering cohorts. But after more than 2 years I have more recruits and a brand new design! (ooo everyone).

The dog walker across the road is clearly impressed

And to celebrate coming back from the dead here’s a guy in a kilt, shame you can’t see his moustache and ‘media’ glasses (they may not have had lenses). What is in shot is his special footwear – for the man on the go, who needs to actually put your feet in shoes? “Not me man, I got places to be in a hurry, hairy wildebeest is playing a secret gig in a toilet in hoxton and you want me to stop to put shoes on?”

I have heard talk of some medieval fashion returning to brick lane so my feelers are out to spot them, stay tuned.

Peese.

First up – sorry for shortage of new fashion victims. The fashion victims of Shoreditch are still there but our fuzzy photography specialist ‘admin’ is in quarantine cos he’s on a swine flu ‘chain’. Yep, dead straight – its a big skive.

Release the victims

I spotted these two guys on the way to work this morning & am just loving their quirky retro power-dress combo.

If I’d spotted them anywhere else I’d assume its fancy dress, but this is a cold Tuesday morning in Shoreditch. They’re probably on the way to meet the bank manager to seek funding to open up yet another vintage shop, cos we really need one of those.

Bonus points for their little queefs pointing out from under their jauntily sat hats, their manbags and moustaches. Did I mention the short suits? We need to invent a scoring system, cos this shit would win.

Mmmm delish fashion sense at work here…. If you look closer at the lovely pink dress you can see that there are ickle stars on it – ahhhh everyone.

Why oh why she thought that this was a good look is beyond me – waitress chic maybe? Was it a bet?

This one must also deserve the ‘natty socks’ tag.

Of course the true pinnacle of vintage fashion is to look like you’re an armenian refugee. Hat’s off to this guy for living the dream. Outstanding contribution by his ‘woman’ too – the deliberate laddering of the tights adding that touch of authenticity that only the truly scraggy East London fashionistas can achieve.

Rolled up tight jeans – Check
‘Dad’ cardigan – Check
Shoulder bags – Check

I think we can all agree, a pair of prime Shoreditch fashion victims caught in their natural habitat.

Apologies for the fuzziness of this one. Had to revert to the mobile camera which was caked with pocket fluff.

It was too good to miss the colour combination that beggars belief, notice that the rest of the insane combo makes the terry towelling hoody look positively sane. The socks (if thats what they are) alone would be deserving of a place in the London Fashion Victim hall of fame though.

Every time I look at this picture trying to come up with witty, insightful (*cough* juvenile *cough*) comments it strikes me dumb with its very wrongness. Unequivocal proof that ‘you can’t go wrong with vintage clothes’ is bullcrap. Viv la vintage!