First up – sorry for shortage of new fashion victims. The fashion victims of Shoreditch are still there but our fuzzy photography specialist ‘admin’ is in quarantine cos he’s on a swine flu ‘chain’. Yep, dead straight – its a big skive.

Release the victims

I spotted these two guys on the way to work this morning & am just loving their quirky retro power-dress combo.

If I’d spotted them anywhere else I’d assume its fancy dress, but this is a cold Tuesday morning in Shoreditch. They’re probably on the way to meet the bank manager to seek funding to open up yet another vintage shop, cos we really need one of those.

Bonus points for their little queefs pointing out from under their jauntily sat hats, their manbags and moustaches. Did I mention the short suits? We need to invent a scoring system, cos this shit would win.

Of course the true pinnacle of vintage fashion is to look like you’re an armenian refugee. Hat’s off to this guy for living the dream. Outstanding contribution by his ‘woman’ too – the deliberate laddering of the tights adding that touch of authenticity that only the truly scraggy East London fashionistas can achieve.

Rolled up tight jeans – Check
‘Dad’ cardigan – Check
Shoulder bags – Check

I think we can all agree, a pair of prime Shoreditch fashion victims caught in their natural habitat.

what the ?!?!

I think the title says about all I can muster for these two… Reminds me of those early 80′s low budget children programs where presenter’s dressed in bright clothes and acted insane, because thats what kiddies wanted and was nothing to do with the fevered, acid fuelled ramblings of the producers. Remember chock-a-block? I rest my case.

Fresh from 1982.

Looking like the twisted offspring of Stevie Wonder and the Blue Man group (and courtesy of @icklekaskas).
I really am at a loss of how else to describe this one other than to point out the polish woman behind him, she’s not impressed. Although I will say I would’ve been happy if he was poppin’ and lockin’, or better stilling robot(ing) down the street.

Call grandma – she wants her shower curtain back.

Sporting the unlikely juxtaposition of woolen hattery and shorts + t-shirt you could be forgiven for thinking that this young oik is a bit confused.

Do not fret though readers as this is just an important fashion statement – something to do with juxtaposing society against the craziness of modern living set against the poverty of struggling east london artistes, or some other frippery. I fear I’m just too jaded and cynical to recognise truly expressive genius when I see it.

Feast your eyes until they can gorge no more.

Not in shot – their ‘clever’ poster.

Well I just can’t let the opportunity pass to shame some of the extreme fashion victims I see on my way to and from work in Brick Lane. Having worked around here for a year or two I’ve seen some prize sights and thought it was about time this was spread to the wider world.

I have seen plenty of dire attempts, including the infamous bear hat man (honestly he looked like a cross between a court jester and a cro magnon – he was indescribable but had some sort of fluffly coat/poncho/cocoon on with pointy shoes). And now in my magnanimity I will share this with anyone who is willing to plough through my rubbish rhetoric to forage for the good stuff.

The Method

I have 2 techniques scoped out for the mission;

1) I’m going to pretend to take scenery photos with my camera phone and really secretly snap people

2) I’m going to procure a digital SLR and actually ask them if they could pose, I figure that they will be vain/naive enough for it.

The Results

These will be posted up here whenever I have a fresh batch.

All contributions are welcome – just sign up as a subscriber and send me a message to junk (at) fatbassline.biz and I’ll give you posting rights. Oh and if you’re a spammer trying to trick me I’ll come round your house and kill you… Just giving you fair warning.