Chim Chim Che-ree… everyone loves a bit of dick (van dyke – you filthy swine)

Clearly this fellow does, sporting his cock-ney fashion (yes this was summer – I am that far behind in posting). I don’t think Dick Van dyke would’ve been so insanely happy if he was a real chimney sweep though.

Tony was from a simple village, his dream to one day walk the hallowed turf of shoreditch and hoxton and mix with the fashionistas. Tony had always yearned for a place where he would be accepted and could say the word “vintage” without being slapped by his stereotypically angry and misunderstood father, mother (and passing strangers).

"So I said to him plaid? That's sooooo last week..."

Days rolled into weeks and weeks rolled into years until on his 18th birthday Tony announced that he was moving to persue his dream of being a brand awareness product strategist and the future of the family tie folding business be damned!

The next few days passed by in a haze of anticipation for Tony and at last when the joyous day arrived he climbed into the taxi to drive him to the airport and more symbolically, to freedom.

Unfortunately for Tony the taxi was crushed by a wayward boeing tyre that had fallen from a plane coming into land, killing him and his dreams instantly. So instead of Tony here’s a picture of a random dude with 2 bags.

First up – sorry for shortage of new fashion victims. The fashion victims of Shoreditch are still there but our fuzzy photography specialist ‘admin’ is in quarantine cos he’s on a swine flu ‘chain’. Yep, dead straight – its a big skive.

Release the victims

I spotted these two guys on the way to work this morning & am just loving their quirky retro power-dress combo.

If I’d spotted them anywhere else I’d assume its fancy dress, but this is a cold Tuesday morning in Shoreditch. They’re probably on the way to meet the bank manager to seek funding to open up yet another vintage shop, cos we really need one of those.

Bonus points for their little queefs pointing out from under their jauntily sat hats, their manbags and moustaches. Did I mention the short suits? We need to invent a scoring system, cos this shit would win.

Mmmm delish fashion sense at work here…. If you look closer at the lovely pink dress you can see that there are ickle stars on it – ahhhh everyone.

Why oh why she thought that this was a good look is beyond me – waitress chic maybe? Was it a bet?

This one must also deserve the ‘natty socks’ tag.

I had to work for this one. Unfortunately he was too wily for me and I only captured the shoes/socks and jacket combo whilst missing out on the lovely bright orange necktie.

Nevertheless an atypical shoreditch twattite – also overhead were his critiques on fashion as I stalked followed him down the street. Obviously it’s the height of fashion to wear trousers that terminate a country mile above the ankle to show off your natty sockage. I just can’t fathom out the ‘dad’ shoes though. Just for your delectation here’s a tasty close-up.

Twats adopt emergency measures as recession hits the coolest bits of Shoreditch this week.

These two Shoreditch ladeez made sure they looked spiffing by wearing their Shoreditch twat staples, the unnecessary scarf, oversized bags and cheap plimsolls, while walking past RBS on Bishopsgate, despite the fact that recession cutbacks have forced them to eschew clothing. They must have had to spend their last pennies on crap 80s-revival electronica music or leg warmers.

Unfortunately for the banker behind them, he is too busy using his Wankberry – probably to text people how great he is because he still has his job – and misses two naked chicks walking past.

Location: Bishopsgate, near Liverpool street station
Time : about 2 ish
Subject : shoreditchians

Lovely. The day after I created this these eejits appeared in front of me whilst wandering about at lunch. Heaven sent one might say. It required a bit of overtaking and hiding around a corner action but all tings considered a satisfactory catch, its a shame I couldn’t get all of the bags/haircuts in shot but as its the first attempt I’m sure you’ll forgive me…

I can only surmise that these three were taking a daily pilgramage from the mecca of hoxton and shoreditch to go to the apple store.

nice haircuts too